~angels-and-insects

Dreaming of Mercy Street

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Me, Myself, I

Sat Dec 9, 2006, 3:27 PM

Mood: Crazy
Listening to: The Fragile - NIN
Reading: Margeret Atwood, when I'm not doing anything else
Watching: My thoughts form on the screen
Eating: Nothing and don't intend to
Drinking: Fosters

I hate my face, I hate my body, I hate my insecurities, I hate my sense of hope, I hate my constant attempting to do the right thing, I hate my stupidy, I hate my mind, I hate my soul, I hate that I bother, I hate that I'm a coward, I hate my world, I hate this feeling, I hate everything I am and everything I do, I hate myself.

I hate that I hate myself

28 Comments

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~loveshaq Dec 9, 2006, 6:27:57 PM

great song (NIN) thats funny cuz i love your face and i love your body. Your insecureties irritate me because i don't see what they are all about. However, i fully understand why they are there. you should always have a sense of hope it is a good thing... no really it is! just don't go in on something ONLY on hope because if it doesn't work out then you will be dissappointed. you do not have to attempt to do the right thing. you should just do it anyway and whatever the outcome just accept it for what it was. you're not stupid. you make mistakes yes but that only makes you human and i can't remember weather that was a crime or not... i love your mind and i am beset on all sides by your soul. i love that you bother i love that you even think of bothering most people don't! cowardliness is yet another thing that comes with being human i'm afraid. it just varies from person to person. i hate this world too i think i'll speak for a SHED-load of people when i say join the mother-fucking club!
I hate that feeling too...
And you already know that i still do a little but i've gotten out of it (almost) "saying the same thing twice")...

...

...

i forgot. *coughs* i..i mean to be continued.... ....

i love you

--
Encourage Advanced Critique.

~BadReligion-fans

one love

feel the wave.

No to the NWO!
[link]

end of transmission...

~angels-and-insects Dec 10, 2006, 4:49:40 AM

thanks

--
YaY!

*MaX-DooM Dec 10, 2006, 5:46:04 AM

I hate that you feel this way

I guess the point is I needed to stop looking for a 'ray of light' and just get my head down and train (or work or anything productive). Sooner or later your efforts will provide your own 'ray of light' but don't concentrate on that just keep knuckling down.
I used to be very depressed. It lasted for years ... now I think about it, probably as much as 8-10. I'm still prone to re-lapses, when I just seem to lack motivation for long enough to find myself at the bottom of the heap again. I think there needs to be a fundamental change in character, a fighting spirit. Confidence and success go hand in hand, so make that success happen! Pick something achieveable and do it. For me (and I am talking to myself here as well as you) it could be achieving a fitness goal but for you ... whatever twirls your propellers.

For me the most recent two tracks from Hatebreed woke me up ... although they don't really pull any punches it has to be said!
[link]
those and this guy - HOw stROnG!

[link]
I have got to get there - that workout room is gonna be miiiine!

Cmon chook lets sort this mess out,

Your No. 1

--
play, but play seriously

~loveshaq Dec 10, 2006, 9:36:57 AM

.... .....

--
Encourage Advanced Critique.

~BadReligion-fans

one love

feel the wave.

No to the NWO!
[link]

end of transmission...

~angels-and-insects Dec 10, 2006, 11:06:31 AM

That guy is unbelievable!!!! Thanks for the advice, again, and the constant support

--
YaY!

~angels-and-insects Dec 10, 2006, 12:21:15 PM

sorry, I is'tint a good replyeratorer

I'st luving you tho

--
YaY!

~loveshaq Dec 10, 2006, 1:03:02 PM

i love you

--
Encourage Advanced Critique.

~BadReligion-fans

one love

feel the wave.

No to the NWO!
[link]

end of transmission...

*MaX-DooM Dec 10, 2006, 5:16:51 PM

Ross rulz! There's some insane training on his site but he clearly knows his stuff.
This one might be good if your still feeling stressed :
[link]

Hang in there dudette